This was written almost 20 years ago after a young woman told me of her sexual abuse as a child and the shame she lived with until receiving the healing of Jesus. 

A child sits yonder,

alone and forlorn,

wondering where love could be.

A knock on the door

(is it possibly love?)

Open wide, then maybe you’ll see.

Dressed ever so well

in sweet talk and smiles,

the visitor enters in.

He grabs the sweet child

and holds her close,

her misery about to begin.

It isn’t love,

it is hate, don’t you see?

Mockery, selfishness, and lies.

It sweeps up the child

before she can see

through the wickedly careful disguise.

The child wanted love

but hate came instead

clothed in deception and lust.

The child took a beating

but battered – she fled!

From the one who betrayed her sweet trust.

In time she prayed

for discernment to know

the truth about those saying ‘Friend.”

In time she saw

with the eyes of the Lord

the pretender, the enemy, sin.

This time she stood

by the side of the Lord

and looked not around her at all.

But into His face

holding tight to His hand

she knew when to answer the call.

This time Love came

and sheltered her well

and showed her the truth all the way.

By seeking His will

trusting Him not herself,

joy, strength, and peace came to stay.

My mother is in residential assisted living due to dementia and a weakened body.  I have a church shut-in friend who recently moved to a like facility for the same reason.  I have noticed with both my mother and my friend one like feature:  they mention someone’s need and then state their strong desire to go and help that person even though they are unable to care for themselves.  They will tell what they could do, or should be doing, for the person.   It is a way of reflecting on days gone by, a way of speaking sadness over their loss of independence and service.  With both, there is denial that they are no longer able to cope on their own, or able to be of help to others.  It is heartbreaking, but at the same time, a cause for personal reflection.

I know that a day may come when independence will escape me, too.  I have quality of life now, but at what point will I outlive it?  Even at best, the years are short before me.  It is a strange thing to realize that most of my life has gone by.

I have many regrets; that is the result of human nature.  Since I cannot go back and correct past errors, I must concentrate on what I can do with today, how I can seek and recognize what God has designed for this present time – and do it.  It is no longer about “someday I will do such and such” but about “right now.”  Either I use well the time I have left or I forfeit it.  I pray it will be the first.

Father, Your word says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil, that you may have a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).  Thank You, Father, for Your love that gives each one of us a life design, a purpose to live out in Your name.  Create in me a totally submissive heart to live in the framework of that design.  Amen.