• About Pat Luffman Rowland

Prayerful Pondering

~ by Pat Luffman Rowland

Prayerful Pondering

Tag Archives: healing

She Taught Me to Pray

02 Thursday Feb 2023

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in prayer

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

adoration, God's presence, grandmother, grandparents, healing, how to pray, parents, praying, reverence of God, trust, visual of prayer, worship

The earliest visual memory of my grandmother is of her praying. She was on her knees, beside her bed, and it was her last prayer before sleeping. Mama’s long braids fell down her back, over her homemade gown, and she prayed aloud.

As a child, when I was sick with something that made me feel terrible but wasn’t life-threatening, I remember Mama getting down beside my bed and praying for me. She called out to Jesus to make me well. Though I don’t remember what was wrong with me, I will never forget how she prayed.

During the day, Mama had ongoing conversations with the Lord. You knew because if you came up behind her without her knowing, you heard the conversations. It was like friends speaking to one another. She might be cooking, or rocking in her chair. But her Friend was beside her and they talked.

She told me once that she prayed every day for all her children (seven, plus spouses) and grandchildren. She called out our names as she prayed. In heaven, we will learn just how blessed each of us was by her prayers.

My grandmother’s kind of relationship with the Lord, one that was devoted to prayer, carved a forever place in my heart. To know she was praying daily for me was strength. It was assurance. It was a resting place.

Dr. Charles Stanley says we win all our battles on our knees. I do know there is something different about that posture in prayer. It puts us in the right position with Almighty God. We bow in humility and trust. My prayers become more centered that way. I stay much more focused. I sense a stronger presence of the Lord.

This is not so much to tell you about my grandmother as to encourage readers to let their children and grandchildren see you pray. Give them a visual to carry with them through life. Show them that He may also be our friend, but first He is one we should fall before in worship.

My grandmother taught me this: God is Supreme. He is Almighty. He is to be solemnly worshiped. There must be a place in your life that is reserved for Him alone. Never try to tamp down who God is. Keep doing your best to rise to what He wants from you and for you.

As a parent or grandparent, let those you love see a proper way of worship. Familiarize them with Old Testament stories that showed great reverence and respect. Let them read how God’s chosen people took care to worship all through their journeys.

Teach your children and grandchildren. Give them visuals that will carry them through life. I am so grateful I have that from my grandmother. She taught me to pray.

Come, let us bow down in worship,

Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

Psalm 95:6 (NIV)

This picture is probably from late 1965. It was our four-generation picture that my grandmother wanted us to have. She, Dulcie Cotton Spencer, is on the left, and my mother, Louise Spencer Luffman, is on the right. The baby, my daughter, Kristi McClain Hearn, says I gave her my faith. Nothing she could say to me could make me happier.

Calls to Serve

10 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in Christian service

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Christianity, comfort, compassion, emotional turmoil, faith, healing, hearing God, illness, obedience, prayer, salvation, service to God, suicide, wisdom

My last blog, posted October 25, was on obeying God’s direction to serve even when we don’t understand. You might want to read When We Have an Assignment to Serve before reading this one.

Some assignments are so clear, you simply cannot miss them. Others may be subtle little nudges that can go easily unnoticed. They seem small, happen quickly, and are easily passed by.

I email daily prayer needs to our church family. As I was preparing an email Tuesday of this week, it occurred to me that I should do a little more than I was doing. I should close out the email with scriptures relative to the needs. I added one for healing and another for comfort.

Early that evening I received a call from someone who receives my emails. She began with I’ve had a miracle happen! She has a chronic disease that sometimes flares and causes a great deal of pain. She had been out for the day when it hit and she rushed home, not knowing where this flare was taking her. She sat on the side of her bed, growing weaker and pain progressing. She was trying to decide whether she should go to the emergency room. She reached over for her cell phone and scrolled through emails and pulled up the prayer list for the day. Her eyes fell on the healing scripture below the names and needs and she read it aloud: LORD, my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me (Psalms 30:2). Immediately the pain left. Completely. She felt new strength coursing through her body. She said to me, I promise you, that is exactly how it happened. I called out for help using that scripture and I was instantly healed!

This is what I mean by listening for our assignments. Only God knew that something as simple as a scripture added to my email would be exactly what someone was going to need later in the day. Only He knew that it would become someone’s personal prayer.

This was a whisper of the Holy Spirit that I could have easily ignored and never thought about again. I confess I didn’t think about it being God’s voice at the time. But you see, He is always talking to us and we have to realize and honor that. If it is in our mind to do something and it lines up with scripture, then we can count on it being from God.

I think I know what led me to this particular assignment. I had awakened that morning with the sad memory of a physician friend who had taken his life. He was an exceptionally compassionate physician. I never knew another quite like him. Always available, always patient, always deeply caring. A treatment he had given a patient resulted in her death and he was never able to emotionally recover. What cut me the deepest as I remembered was that in all our conversations, we never talked about faith and eternal life.

So, this week I have reminded myself that the time to witness is NOW. I urge you, that if you see an opportunity, and feel a nudge to do something that witnesses and brings glory to God, go forward and do that thing. NOW.

Heed instruction and be wise. And do not neglect it. –Proverbs 8:33

The Lord will guide you always. –Isaiah 58:11

Perspective on Life from Hospital Days

24 Thursday Mar 2022

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in healthcare stories

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

comfort, communication, compassion, family conflict, healing, hospital support, learning from others, lessons taught by life, loneliness-lessons taught by patients, love, wisdom

Hospitals know a lot of heartaches. An illness brings someone in, but that person comes with all their problems and they should never be under-estimated in their journey of healing. During my years as a patient advocate, I came to know a lot of wonderful people and a lot of their heartaches.

The very first patient I ever dealt with was a teenager battling a rare disease. It wasn’t thought he would recover, but he did. After being home a while and getting back on his feet, he fell in with a wrong group and was killed as a result of association. When his dad came to tell me, I found it hard to take in. This young man who had won the battle of disease, only to have his life end in senseless tragedy – how could it be? How did his parents manage their grief so soon after being on a mountaintop of joy?

There was an elderly woman who was with us one December and it was uncertain as to whether she would be staying through Christmas Day. Most patients wanted badly to be out and home for Christmas, but this dear lady preferred staying. She said she would rather be in a hospital with people around her than go home and be alone.

I think about another elderly and gentle woman. She confided in a nurse that she knew her children were taking things from her house while she was hospitalized. They were using her absence and access to her house keys to take what they wanted. How can children do that? Social Service was called, but intervention didn’t take away the sadness of such abuse nor the pain that mother’s heart knew.

There was a delightful man who did his best to make every day positive in some way, all the while knowing he was dying and would probably not leave the hospital. He called for his grandchildren to come so that he could talk to them about how needless his early death was, that he was dying because he had abused his body, and wanted to impress upon them their opportunity to live life better. He gave his speech and then went back to bringing laughter into the room. What a brave individual!

I recall the many families who were torn apart by end-of-life decisions. Spouses and children couldn’t agree on when it was time to let their loved one go, even when the patient had made personal wishes clear to the family. Sometimes it was a spouse who held on, other times it was the children. Before the day of the Patient Self-Determination Act that gave us the Living Will and Durable Power of Attorney, it could be an especially tough issue to resolve. Just when families needed to pull together, impending death often brought family discord and added anguish.

There was a very loving wife who delayed bringing in her husband’s Living Will because she wasn’t ready to give him up. They had been married more than 50 years and she thought she would rather take him home and care for him like an infant rather than lose him forever. After taking some time to work it through – weighing what she knew he wanted against her heartache in giving him up – she did eventually bring in his Living Will. Decisions in the midst of grief are always the hardest to make.

I think about the nurses who cried when babies would not live outside their mothers’ wombs and how they consoled those empty-armed mothers. And I remember the doctors who gave the extra measure of hope to their patients while battling extremely tough medical cases. There were pharmacists who spent time explaining a medicine or apologizing for delays and confusion when the fault wasn’t theirs, kitchen staff that made special surprises for those who needed an emotional boost, chaplains who counseled with family members in despair and prayed with patients over their fear and confusion.

One caregiver that really touched my heart was a physical therapist who was an expert at building bridges with patients with her sense of humor. I remember a family support meeting in our rehab area where we all sat around a table with the patient and caregivers explained to his family the patient’s progress. The stroke victim was expressionless until it came the physical therapist’s turn to speak. Ellen jumped right in, applying her good-humored teasing directly to the patient, and speaking much more frankly than any of the others. She told this patient he wasn’t doing all she knew he could do and she didn’t soft pedal it. Was he offended? Oh, no. His face just lit up with joy. For the first time in the meeting, he participated to the degree he was able. His therapist had made a heart contact when she worked with him; he knew she saw him as a unique individual and not just another patient recovering from a stroke. It was a beautiful moment.

A hospital is a microcosm of society. My point in reflecting on what I learned there is this: what I saw in a smaller setting is what we have all around us. Wherever we work or live, there are hurting people. Life is filled with opportunities to help someone along the way. By realizing that we walk amidst suffering, we can be more kindly observant and less judgmental, more giving and less self-centered. We can choose to not have as one of our biggest regrets someday, the things we had a chance to do for someone else and didn’t.

There is not one single person anywhere who doesn’t appreciate a little extra kindness, some measure of caring. Often the tiniest efforts mean the most. The degree of appreciation usually lies in the size of the hole in the heart – and that, only the hurting one knows.

Pat Rowland is retired from Methodist Healthcare in Memphis, Tennessee, where she was Corporate Director of Patient Affairs.

Commercial Appeal, December 2012

The Problem with Assuming

10 Friday Dec 2021

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in Assumptions

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

comfort, disfigurement, fact vs assumption, faith, God's word, healing, heartache, kindness, peace, study scripture, wisdom, witnessing for God

I am reading an 1800s novel about a man who causes himself great heartache when he assumes something to be true solely based on what he sees. In the story, Larson is badly burned while away from home on business. He survives only by a godly couple’s determined care for his body and soul. He is unable to get word to his wife, Kathryn, and is thought to have died in a snowstorm. Yet his wife never gives up hope that he is alive and will come back to her.

Months later, when Larson is able to travel, he lingers on the outskirts of his rural community’s small town, watching for his wife and wondering if she will accept him back into her life. The burns have left him scarred beyond recognition. He is hesitant to reveal himself to his wife for fear of her disgust and rejection upon seeing him. 

Larson, looking on from the shadows of the small town, sees his wife going into a brothel and assumes she has turned to this kind of life to make a living. They were barely surviving when he left home. He also notices a bulge at her waistline and assumes, rightly so, that she is pregnant. But Larson believes Kathryn is pregnant by someone she entertained. Now he is the one filled with disgust.

Larson’s assumptions were wrong. Kathryn was taking food to a woman in the brothel, a woman she was bearing witness to that God had a better plan for her life. And the baby she was carrying was his, conceived on their last night together. He had not given room for that possibility because, after 10 years of trying to have a baby, Larson believes himself to be sterile.

For quite a while, Larson watches from afar, loving her with all that he is but doubting his ability to accept things as they appear to be. He finds solace for his heartache only when he turns to the Bible the couple had given him. Philippians 4:8 said to Larson, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (ESV).

Kathryn had been all these things and when he focuses on these truths, Larson finds peace. God’s word becomes a shelter for him from the harsh winds of his conjecture. When he falters and lets go of God’s wisdom, each time he falls back into assumptions which leads to agitation and anger. He inflicts needless pain on himself by believing what he thinks he is seeing — but isn’t real.

Aren’t we all guilty from time to time? Making ourselves miserable with assumptions? Remember how Jack Webb of Dragnet fame used to say, “Just the facts, ma’am (or sir), just the facts”? That’s still good advice. We can wind up in a place we don’t need to be and find later the destination was completely unnecessary and not on God’s map for us at all. The Message Bible says this in Proverbs 25:8: “Don’t jump to conclusions. There may be a perfectly good explanation for what you just saw.”

Tamera Alexander is an inspired writer, weaving scripture into the storyline exceptionally well. Her book, Rekindled, is a good reminder of many things, but for this blog purpose, it is that we should never make decisions based on assumptions. And, even should our assumptions turn out to be correct, God’s overriding principle is still Love. His word is a book of love. His love for us and how He wants us to love others. We shore ourselves up mightily when we read and practice its wisdom daily.

God’s word is always wisdom.

Prayerful Pondering’s beautiful header is by Mark Hearn, my son-in-law.

Not So Blind Faith

12 Tuesday May 2020

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in Sight

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

eye stroke, healing, hearing, listening, obedience, physical sight, spiritual sight, trust, vision

(1) As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. . . (6) He spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then He anointed the man’s eyes with the mud (7) and said to him, “Go, “wash in the pool of Siloam” (which meant Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing. (John 9: 1, 6-7 NIV).

In 2016, I experienced a partial loss of vision in my right eye due to a retinal branch vein occlusion.  In layman’s terms, that’s an eye stroke. When I went for treatment, the retinal specialist also found that my eye pressure was too high and my cataracts now needed surgical removal. With so much to take in, this threat to my vision became uppermost in my mind.

Although I have had excellent care, the journey hasn’t been easy. After experiencing surgical complications, preserving my vision still involves frequent medical intervention. Now, the blind man’s story in John 9 has become more personal to me.

This man had never before experienced physical sight, but his story tells me that his hearing may have become acute. Modern medicine has reported that when one sense is missing, the brain rewires itself to compensate for that part of the brain not being used.

Jesus had just spoken in the temple. Had the blind man been listening? Did he hear that same voice when Jesus stood near him and realize who He was? Did Jesus deliberately walk nearby the blind man to test his trust that Jesus was the Son of God and could heal him? Did the blind man sense with his spiritual eyes what he could not with his physical eyes?

In pondering these verses, I think the blind man immediately recognized Jesus’ voice and heard Him say that He was the Light of the World sent by God the Father (see vv1-5). His hearing may have been more acute, but I believe the Holy Spirit was also at work, giving him spiritual vision. I believe this man’s heart leapt with joy at the sound of His voice and then again as he felt the Lord’s gentle touch. He knew he was in the presence of God and, that day, he received two sights: physical and spiritual.

Jesus could have healed the man with just His touch. So, why did He direct him to go to the Pool of Siloam and wash from his eyes the ointment He had applied? I believe it was a test of obedience. And it is at this part of the story that I pause to ponder more, to ask myself:

What am I doing with what He asks of me?

 How intently do I listen for His voice?

How quickly do I act in obedience?

While I marvel at the miracle of Jesus’ healing, for me, the greater lesson is recognizing my need to listen more keenly and obey more immediately. I pray daily to retain my physical sight. I am reminded here to pray just as fervently for my spiritual sight – to hear God’s call to me and obey.  

Jesus Heals All Afflictions

14 Thursday Jun 2018

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in healing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

faith, God's love, God's power, healing, miracles, observation, study scripture

In a study of the people Jesus healed, I noted eleven different afflictions: demon/evil spirit possessed, paralytics, blind, fever, leprosy, dying, hemorrhage or bleeding, raised from the dead, seizures, bent over, deaf/mute. Though these have their specific stories, it doesn’t mean they were the only diseases or afflictions that Jesus healed. Thousands came to Him and He healed all that asked.

It may be that the woman bent over for 18 years is the one that captures my attention the most. Her story is told in Luke 13:10-13 and, depending on the Bible translation, she is described as bent double, hunched over, bowed together, twisted and bent. All translations agree that she could no longer stand straight. I have seen a few people like this and thought how terrible it would be to live bent over, how restricted one’s life would be because of it. Her story captures my attention because of the immediate parallel I see with mind state. With this woman’s physical condition I think of others who, though not bent over physically, are certainly bent over emotionally. They seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, as we are inclined to say. I remember a friend who lost her young son in a car accident. Her hair turned to gray overnight and she rarely smiled. Her sorrow had weighed her down and in my mind, I saw her as bent over from the loss of her beloved son. She was never quite the same.

Then I began to look at each of Jesus’ healings with new eyes. Those who could not see remind me of those who wander into wrong relationships. They don’t want to see the warning signs and so they close their eyes and involve themselves in situations that will cause eventual heartache. They are blinded by emotions.

Those with leprosy were outcasts. They were judged as unfit and shut off from society. Many of us have had times when we felt unwanted and shut out. We might not suffer from a terrible skin disease, but the isolation is just as painful in its own way.

The healing that Jesus did most by my search was that of the demon or evil possessed. They suffered in horrific ways. Chains wouldn’t hold them. Some were thrown into fire or water. Some tore off their clothes. Others fell to the ground in convulsions. These people lived lives out of control. And, of course, this makes me think of those who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, on and on. Addiction is one of the hardest things to bring under control. Because of the stronghold addiction has on an individual’s life, much is thrown into a kind of fire. Marriages, families, careers, health—all are destroyed by the demons of addiction.

In every healing of Jesus, I am reminded of something in the mind state. Some of us need physical healing and some of us need healing of the mind or emotions. Whatever our need, Jesus is able to heal. He is a God of compassion and He cares about our brokenness.

When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:14 (ESV)

“Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” –Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

 

My appreciation to Flickr for free photos.

When You’ve Prayed All You KnowTo Pray

01 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in prayer

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

anxiety, comfort, communion with God, encouragement, faith, fear, frustration, God's presence, healing, hope, mercy, peace, strength

I wrote this almost six years ago on what to do when we have prayed everything we know to pray. I post it again today for a friend who is feeling that way.

JESUS

Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.
Sometimes that is the only prayer I have – and it is enough.
When I’m waiting for an answer that doesn’t come and I know no more prayers to pray, I utter His name — Jesus.
When the night is long and I can’t sleep, I whisper — Jesus.
When I’ve lost my way, I cry out to the One who has not lost me.  I pray — Jesus.
When I’m tired and I can’t see rest ahead, when all strength is gone, I breathe His name — Jesus.
When I am in pain, I remember the One who can heal, and I plead — Jesus.
If I’m afraid, I bear in mind that I have a Shield whose name is — Jesus.
He is my Savior and my Lord, my Shelter and my Comforter.
He gives me sanctuary under His wing and supplies me with restoration and peace.
He is the Holy Lamb of God, the One who comes with compassion and new hope.
He is my Faithful Friend and the Radiant Light on this earth’s journey.
He is the Way of all righteous, the ever-abiding Truth, and the Life of love and joy.
He is the Mighty and Eternal God

Behavior Speaks Louder Than Words

28 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in communication

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

awareness, comfort, concern, fear, healing, non-verbal communication, observation, professionalism, respect

Now it was time to wait. I had come to receive treatment for a newly diagnosed eye condition. I was alone and with nothing to distract, I began watching and listening to the people around me.

My eyes moved around the waiting room and took in the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs; the patients accompanied by family or friends. I thanked God that I didn’t need walking aid and was able to drive myself to the clinic. I wondered about each person there. Was theirs a longstanding situation or were they dealing with a new diagnosis as I was?

One lady sitting in a wheelchair across from me seemed asleep, but then she suddenly began saying to the two ladies with her that she wanted to go home. Did she want to go home because she wasn’t feeling well? Was she dreading what she might hear today? Her companions didn’t seem too concerned and barely acknowledged that she had spoken. They appeared to be working from a list of people, calling each one to leave a message of concern and express their love for them. Yet here was this lady right there with them receiving little of their attention. Isn’t it the way with people; we look for some good act to do when there is an immediate need right in front of us?

The staff moved about through hallways and doorways at a fast clip. Each one was focused on the work that was theirs to do. They were professional and friendly, having no side conversations with one another that didn’t involve patient care. Their demonstration of being highly skilled in patient and family interaction was impressive. They had either been hired well or trained well. Most likely, both had occurred.

I’m a people watcher by nature, but I become even more so when I’m in a healthcare environment. For more than 25 years I worked in healthcare and that has made me overly sensitive to staff that isn’t professional. In fact, I was at this very clinic because the first ophthalmologist I saw had a staff that interacted playfully with one another but very little with their patients. The physician was rushed into each room by staff and it felt somewhat like I was on an assembly line. After three visits, I determined to find a better fit. This was my eyesight we were dealing with and I needed the utmost confidence in every player involved with my care.

Did you know that over 90% of communication is considered non-verbal? What a person “hears” involves body language, tonality, and attitude. When I began teaching communication techniques in 1984, Dr. Herbert Benson, a cardiologist and founder of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston, graded it as over 90% even then. That old adage of “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care” is sound advice.

I left the clinic grateful to have found a physician and staff that care about how they represent themselves to patients.  That lets me and the others I watched in that waiting room relax into their care. We can come with confidence that highly skilled people are taking care of us and that goes a long way in how well we deal with our particular healthcare situations.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Power of Relinquishing Prayer

03 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in prayer

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

acceptance, comfort, communion with God, faith, God's love, God's power, healing, honor, miracles, peace, relinquishment, strength, trust

There is power in relinquishing prayer. Power and peace. When we’ve prayed all we know to pray and the answer we want just doesn’t come, there is one more prayer to pray: “Father, Thy will be done.” And that is the prayer of relinquishment.

Catherine Marshall’s experience with this is one of the most memorable for me. She had been sick for six months with a lung infection that kept her bedfast. Medical treatment was not working. She had exhausted every approach to prayer she knew and nothing happened. So she said to God that if He wanted her sick and to spend the rest of her life in bed, then she would accept it. But with that prayer of relinquishment to God’s will came heavenly power and her recovery began.

Pastor David Cross of my church, First Assembly Memphis, tells of his being on a treatment table to receive radiation for a golf ball size cancer on his neck.  As he waited, he prayed. Actually, he worshiped. For Pastor David didn’t petition God but said “Even if you don’t heal me, you are still my Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals.” He unconditionally relinquished his self-will to God’s will and at that very moment he knew healing had happened. He felt his neck and the tumor was gone. “I’ve been healed!” Pastor David cried out. “Yes, you certainly have,” declared the Radiation Therapist with tears in her eyes.

I had my own experience with relinquishing prayer when I thought my daughter was dying. For years, I had pleaded with God to heal her of health problems that had stolen so much from her. Then one day, her body began to shut down. In my car, headed toward the other end of the state and not knowing if she would be alive when I got to her, I gave it all to God. I told Him I was through pleading for her health and if it was His will to take her, I accepted that will completely. It was my relinquishing prayer.  Immediately, peace poured over me—and she did not die.

When we can get to the place of total relinquishment, we honor God. We stop questioning. We cease struggling. We simply step away from all attempts to control what we never could control anyway. We believe in God’s love for us however He decides to give it. We accept His will. Sometimes relinquishing prayer brings exactly what we prayed for. Other times, we don’t get the answer, but we do get peace. My child lived, but she still has health problems; yet the complete peace God gave me in 2012 has solidly remained.

When we desperately want something, it is hard to relinquish. Most of us pray for long seasons of time for things we are desperate to have. Our prayers are at first relentless, not relinquishing. But when we can finally reach the place of giving unanswered prayer to God, we will know peace that only God can give. And with that peace is the power to accept whatever is the will of God.

Jesus prayed in Luke 22:42 Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (NIV). May we do no less.

Bullying: A Behavior not to be Ignored

25 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in aggressive behavior

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

bullying, fear, guidance, healing, prayer, protection

LHPROM2015KATMAT 197

morgueFile, LHPROM2015KATMAT 197.jpg

I don’t understand bullying. Why deliberately set out to hurt someone? And why is it a behavior seen too often in children?

One of my earliest memories is of a shiny little red purse I had at about age 4. I dropped the purse and the few coins I had in it spilled out. An older girl quickly picked up the change and then laughed because she had taken it from me.

I tutor second grade children and some of them have confided in me about times they were bullied. One child, in running away from the one spouting hurtful words, fell and broke her arm.

My daughter had her share of bullying in school. There was one classmate in particular who bullied and I tried talking to the mother. She simply dismissed it, saying she knew her daughter would not do such a thing. It continued, of course. Only when Kristi’s dad went to the child’s father and very firmly insisted he deal with his daughter, did the bullying stop.

Why do children bully? It may come from having been physically or emotionally abused. It could be that one of the parents is a bully and the child is acting out what has been seen at home. It may also be from feeling left out at home, school, or other social event and the individual is being a bully to get attention.

Research says that bullying begins at preschool age and, if not addressed, worsens through the school years. A bully left undisciplined will be attracted to gangs and a high percentage of bullies become criminals by their mid-twenties. It is not a conduct to be taken lightly, or to assume a child will grow out of the overly aggressive behavior on their own.

What can be done to protect children from being bullied? Here are suggestions from “Psychology Today” (www.psycholgytoday.com):

  1. Avoid the bully
  2. Use a buddy system (stay near a friend or two)
  3. Hold your anger and don’t retaliate; that is exactly what the bully wants to provoke
  4. Maintain eye contact and keep your voice calm and even
  5. Use the bully’s name when addressing their behavior
  6. Act bravely by walking away; try to ignore the bully
  7. Tell an adult early on. This is not tattling but is what the bully will try to make you think it is.
  8. Talk about it with a parent or older person who will give you support and love.

My heart aches for any child being bullied, but I also ache for the one who bullies, because I know that a child who continuously bullies is broken. Something very deep-seated is hurting in any individual who wishes harm or ridicule for another. It may not be easy, but as followers of Christ, we must remember to pray for the one who bullies, as well as for the one being bullied. Prayer is a mighty weapon; I know of one case where prayer alone turned a situation around.

← Older posts

Recent Posts

  • She Taught Me to Pray
  • Calls to Serve
  • When We Have an Assignment to Serve
  • Caring for God’s Creatures
  • Perspective on Life from Hospital Days
  • Sorting Blueberries — and Life
  • Establishing the Faith of a Child
  • Gift-Giving
  • The Labor and Love of Quilting
  • A Song in Mama’s Heart
  • The Best Christmases of All
  • The Problem with Assuming

Archives

  • February 2023
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • May 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • July 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • April 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • November 2014
  • September 2014
  • July 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Categories

  • adoption
  • adoration
  • aggressive behavior
  • Animal companionship
  • animal protection
  • anticipation
  • Assumptions
  • attitude
  • availability
  • Bible study
  • birds
  • blooming things
  • career decisions
  • Celebrate Christmas
  • Christian hope
  • Christian service
  • Christianity
  • Christmas story
  • claiming God's promises
  • comfort
  • communication
  • communication with God
  • communion with God
  • compromise
  • cotton fields
  • death
  • death and dying
  • dementia
  • depression
  • devotion
  • earth
  • Election 2016
  • end-of-life decisions
  • faith
  • family
  • fitness
  • focus
  • forgiveness
  • Gethsemane
  • gifts
  • giving
  • God's answers to prayer
  • God's faithfulness
  • God's love for us
  • Goodbyes
  • grandmother
  • gratitude
  • healing
  • healthcare stories
  • Hearing God's Voice
  • heavy heart
  • heroes
  • Holy Spirit
  • hope
  • hospital stories
  • how God sees us
  • humility
  • insight
  • Jesus in prayer
  • jobs
  • journaling
  • judging by outward appearance
  • kindness
  • Learning from Adversity
  • life purpose
  • love
  • Love for God
  • making decisions
  • Memories
  • music in healing
  • Nation under God
  • nature
  • negotiating
  • never alone
  • nighttime fear
  • observation
  • peace
  • pets needs
  • poetry
  • prayer
  • Preachers
  • Prodigal
  • quiet time
  • quilting
  • rain
  • raised from dead
  • relationship
  • remaining pure
  • responsibility
  • risks
  • Serving
  • Siamese cats
  • Sight
  • sleep
  • solving problems
  • Spiritual Maturity
  • spiritual training
  • study scripture
  • support
  • Teachers
  • thanksfulness
  • Thanksgiving
  • trust
  • understanding
  • unity
  • unknown future
  • war veterans
February 2023
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728  
« Nov    

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

God has not given us a spirt of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:4-5

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

© Pat Rowland and Prayerful Pondering, 2010 - 2013.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pat Rowland and Prayerful Pondering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hope must be in the future tense. Faith, to be faith, must be in the present tense. Catherine Marshall
Everything over your head is under his feet. Dr. Tom Lindberg
What an excellent ground of hope and confidence we have when we reflect upon these three things in prayer--the Father's love, the son's merit and the Spirit's power! Thomas Manton
Our Christian hope is that we're going to live with Christ in a new earth, where is not only no more death, but where life is what it was always meant to be. Timothy Keller

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Prayerful Pondering
    • Join 129 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Prayerful Pondering
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...