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Prayerful Pondering

~ by Pat Luffman Rowland

Prayerful Pondering

Tag Archives: parents

She Taught Me to Pray

02 Thursday Feb 2023

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in prayer

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

adoration, God's presence, grandmother, grandparents, healing, how to pray, parents, praying, reverence of God, trust, visual of prayer, worship

The earliest visual memory of my grandmother is of her praying. She was on her knees, beside her bed, and it was her last prayer before sleeping. Mama’s long braids fell down her back, over her homemade gown, and she prayed aloud.

As a child, when I was sick with something that made me feel terrible but wasn’t life-threatening, I remember Mama getting down beside my bed and praying for me. She called out to Jesus to make me well. Though I don’t remember what was wrong with me, I will never forget how she prayed.

During the day, Mama had ongoing conversations with the Lord. You knew because if you came up behind her without her knowing, you heard the conversations. It was like friends speaking to one another. She might be cooking, or rocking in her chair. But her Friend was beside her and they talked.

She told me once that she prayed every day for all her children (seven, plus spouses) and grandchildren. She called out our names as she prayed. In heaven, we will learn just how blessed each of us was by her prayers.

My grandmother’s kind of relationship with the Lord, one that was devoted to prayer, carved a forever place in my heart. To know she was praying daily for me was strength. It was assurance. It was a resting place.

Dr. Charles Stanley says we win all our battles on our knees. I do know there is something different about that posture in prayer. It puts us in the right position with Almighty God. We bow in humility and trust. My prayers become more centered that way. I stay much more focused. I sense a stronger presence of the Lord.

This is not so much to tell you about my grandmother as to encourage readers to let their children and grandchildren see you pray. Give them a visual to carry with them through life. Show them that He may also be our friend, but first He is one we should fall before in worship.

My grandmother taught me this: God is Supreme. He is Almighty. He is to be solemnly worshiped. There must be a place in your life that is reserved for Him alone. Never try to tamp down who God is. Keep doing your best to rise to what He wants from you and for you.

As a parent or grandparent, let those you love see a proper way of worship. Familiarize them with Old Testament stories that showed great reverence and respect. Let them read how God’s chosen people took care to worship all through their journeys.

Teach your children and grandchildren. Give them visuals that will carry them through life. I am so grateful I have that from my grandmother. She taught me to pray.

Come, let us bow down in worship,

Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

Psalm 95:6 (NIV)

This picture is probably from late 1965. It was our four-generation picture that my grandmother wanted us to have. She, Dulcie Cotton Spencer, is on the left, and my mother, Louise Spencer Luffman, is on the right. The baby, my daughter, Kristi McClain Hearn, says I gave her my faith. Nothing she could say to me could make me happier.

Thanksgiving Day 2021

25 Thursday Nov 2021

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in Thanksgiving

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

blessings, comfort, God's love, grace, grandparents, gratitude, heritage, mercy, parents, praise, protection, provision, trust

This day I am thankful for the more basic things of life:

                A lamp over my shoulder by which to read God’s word

                A warm fireplace to chase away the early morning chill

                The sun that brings morning light

                Coffee and food to begin my day

I am thankful for a rich family heritage:

                That I was born into a God-fearing, believing family

                That church was a part of our life, not an option

                That I had parents who took care of me, sometimes sacrificially

                For parents and grandparents who taught by example

I am thankful at night:

                When I recount the blessings of protection throughout the day

                When I lie down in a comfortable bed in a house that is mine

                Knowing that for now our country is still free

                Knowing that for always God will care for His children

I love the memories of Thanksgivings past:

                The hours of excited preparation for our feasting

                Having family and friends in my home and around my table

                The pleasure it gave my parents and grandparents to come for repast

                My full-of-faith, humble grandfather being the one returning thanks

The Lord has blessed me most abundantly.

                I give Him praise and I give Him thanks!

                He is my first thought in the morning,

                my last thought in the evening.

                I lift up the Lord God Almighty in gratitude!

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever;

with my mouth I will make your

faithfulness known through all generations.

I will declare that your love stands firm forever,

that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.

                                                                              ~~Psalm 89:1-2 NIV

What the Heart Sees

05 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in adoption

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

autism, children with disabilities, communication, compassion, Down syndrome, family, inspiration, non-verbal, non-verbal communication, parents, seeing with the heart, unconditional love

timmy in hatOn June 29, this young man celebrated his official Adoption Day and became Timothy William Evans, the son of Mike and Melanie Evans. As Melanie puts it, he was knit in his mother’s womb and yet placed in our hearts.

Eight-year-old Timothy was the third child to be adopted by the Evans and the second with special needs. They also have two biological children with special needs. God has fashioned some people with hearts that are extra deep with compassion and Mike and Melanie are two of those people.

In all, Mike and Melanie have eight children. Andrew is their oldest and the first adopted. Jeremy, their first biological child, came next. Savannah, Ethan, and Mariah are triplets. Due to cerebral palsy, Ethan needs a wheelchair for mobility. Mariah cannot talk or walk. Forever, adopted five years ago and destined to live out her life in an orphanage, has frequent and severe seizures that so far medical treatment has not helped. The youngest member of the Evans Eight is Christian, born last year.

Timmy has Down syndrome, autism, and is non-verbal most of the time. He is pretty good with sign language and will sometimes use his voice, but on rare occasions. What I see with Timmy is how his heart speaks, how it plays out through his expressions. (If you click on the pictures below, there will be captions of each situation.)

 

After being asked if he was happy to officially be an Evans now.
After being asked if he was happy to officially be an Evans now.
An excited little boy at his party
An excited little boy at his party
Timmy and his biological brother LaMarcus who began raising Timmy when he was still a child himself. There were seven siblings in all and they lost a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother in two years time.
Timmy and his biological brother LaMarcus who began raising Timmy when he was still a child himself. There were seven siblings in all and they lost a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother in two years time.

I have a personal connection with the Evans family that goes back about 10 years and I’ve loved watching how they nurture and seek the best for each of their children. Yes, they have people to assist them, but the bottom line is Melanie and Mike are responsible for their care and quality of life 24/7. I would love to tell you more about each of these children, but this is about Timmy, so let me get back to him.

Timmy and Mike

Mike holding Timothy on adoption day.

I am particularly drawn to this picture of Timmy being held in his white father’s arms. It is the same security I saw in the face of Forever, also African-American, when she was chosen by the Evans. It underscores what I learned from my years of working with mentally challenged people: they do not see color. They see deeper, into the very heart, I believe.

Sundays mean church for the Evans family and Timmy was there with his family two days after adoption. Melanie said Timothy reached one arm high and with palm outstretched wide, spontaneously started worshiping. He had not seen someone else doing it; in fact, it isn’t commonplace in their church. Doesn’t that show you the very real connection he has with his Creator? Do you see that he knows what has happened for him? He is a little boy with major disabilities, but his heart is sound and full of purpose. God has a plan for Timothy just like He does for each of us.

Melanie has this quote about adoption on her Facebook page and it sums up how she and Mike see it:  “Adoption is not the call to have the perfect rosy family. It is the call to give love, mercy, and patience.”

Timothy, I’m so grateful the Evans found and chose you. You hit the jackpot of families who see and love with the heart.  Happy life, Timmy!

 

All the Evans children
All the Evans children

 

_____________

My blog, Meet “Maddie and Wilda,” October 2017, features Melanie’s mom, Wilda Lahmann. Both Mike and Melanie grew up in homes where fostering and unconditional love were modeled for them.

Decorated with Love

14 Tuesday Feb 2017

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in Memories

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

appreciation, comfort, family, keepsakes, kitchen, mother, parents, thankfulness, understanding

after_the_war__age_3__mayb1

One of my favorite pictures of my mother, Louise Spencer Luffman. In her late 20s.

My mother was a keeper of all things. Not like a hoarder; our house was always clean and orderly. Everything in drawers was neatly folded and things on closet shelves were boxed and labeled. When Mother died and we cleaned out the house, I found a little notebook where she had recorded the contents of every room—probably done in those last years at home when she looked for ways to fill her days.

I remember a conversation Mother and I had once about several bud vases she kept on a shelf in the living room. I told her she could buy those vases for $1 each and I didn’t think anyone meant for her to keep them on display, but her response was that someone had cared enough about her to give her flowers and she was going to keep the bud vases right where they were.

Growing up, when I would clean my room, I would sometimes go through things that I thought were entirely worn out and take them outside for “throw away.” Mother would go behind me and rummage through everything and bring much of it back inside. When I later married and had a little girl, Mother would bring her my old costume jewelry that she had salvaged and my daughter loved it.

As I aged and matured in my understanding, I came to see Mother’s collecting in a different way. I realized the memories that were attached to things of her past. I especially loved Mother’s albums of many photographs kept through the years. A day came when she would tell me that I should take any of them I might like—that she didn’t need them anymore.

mother_and_daddy__very_earl

A very early picture of my parents. They married at 15 and 18. I’ve wondered if it was made the day they married.


me_and_my_snowman__age_5_00

Me with my snowman when we lived on Church Street.

She would also say of her many keepsakes “If you see anything you want, just take it.” Sometimes she would mention a particular item and tell me something about it and then ask if I would like to have it. Her stories and her mementos became precious to me, more valuable than I could ever explain.

Much of what Mother gave me is in my kitchen. There are also some things of my grandmother’s there. I enjoy telling friends about the pieces that live in my kitchen and one friend said she loved my house because of all the stories belonging to each piece. Still another friend said something I will always cherish: “You decorate with love.” I had never thought of it like that, but she is right. I have adorned my kitchen with things that make me happy, things of fond memory. My highchair with its many coats of paint, a piece Mother loomed when she was 18 and I had framed, my grandmother’s buttermilk pitcher that Papa bought for 50 cents, my mother’s grease crock for keeping the bacon drippings, a framed copy of my grandmother’s recipe for chicken and dumplings—a dish she was known for far and wide.

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Sundays of My Childhood

29 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by Pat Luffman Rowland in Memories

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

blessings, childhood, church, comfort, food, grandparents, love, memories, nature, observation, parents, remembrance, respect, security

In the sweltering heat of southern summers, there was somewhat of a Sunday afternoon tradition at my grandparents’ house of putting small children down to nap on a pallet. A pallet was a homemade quilt folded over once or twice, depending on the number of grandchildren needing rest. Nearby, would be an oscillating fan, giving off a cool breeze as it turned your way. And while children napped, grownups would spend the afternoon in conversation until time for supper.

The Sunday noontime meal usually included both fried chicken and country ham. Mama and Papa had chickens and a smoke house where Papa cured hams. The table was heavy with bowls of vegetables from their garden. Desserts came in threes and you didn’t have to choose. Mama brought you a plate with some of each one; maybe two kinds of pie and a slice of cake. Once when Mama proudly brought a plate of desserts to a guest eating with us, he shook his head and said he couldn’t possibly eat all that and to please just give him one of the desserts. I can still see Mama’s face as she looked from him to the dessert plate in puzzlement. Foolish man to turn away the wares of a champion baker!

Before nap time and conversation, the table was cleared and the food carried from the dining room back to the stove. There it would be covered and put in the oven or left on top of the stove with the pot’s lids covering the “vittles,” as my grandfather called them.That wonderful repast would wait there for us to enjoy again for supper. And we didn’t always warm it up; rather, it might be spooned onto plates and eaten at room temperature. There was Sunday night church to attend, you see, so tasks were kept to a minimum. Mama’s cooking had gone on the day before or very early Sunday morning.

The memory of my grandparents’ table groaning with food and a fan cooling children on pallets are treasured memories. If I close my eyes and listen intently, I can almost hear the hum of that fan as it traveled from left to right and feel the cool breezes it provided on a hot Sunday afternoon.

As children of the 40s and 50s, we enjoyed simple pleasures and much security. We felt with our parents and grandparents in charge, no harm could come to us. We were protected from things we did and did not know. We played uncomplicated games of jack rocks and marbles, hop scotch and jump rope. We might search for four-leaf clovers or make necklaces and bracelets by typing clovetogether the long stems of the white clovers. My grandparents had an elephant ear plant that was profuse with huge leaves and long stems. Mama would break one off for each of us and we would pretend the leaves were umbrellas to fend off the sun or rain. Imagination in that day was a part of every game we played.

I think we need these memories as we age and that accounts for why we reminisce so much in our senior years. Rituals like Sunday family dinners and naps on pallets gave us uncomplicated days. Their recall brings smiles and appreciation for what we then took for granted.

Whoever thought things would change like they have? Ours was a world that made sense and gave hope for our futures. Maybe it is sheer foolishness, but somehow I believe that if we could take our children and grandchildren back to the way things were when we grew up, they would actually enjoy and want it. What do you think?

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.

                                                       — H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

 

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The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

God has not given us a spirt of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:4-5

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

© Pat Rowland and Prayerful Pondering, 2010 - 2013.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pat Rowland and Prayerful Pondering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hope must be in the future tense. Faith, to be faith, must be in the present tense. Catherine Marshall
Everything over your head is under his feet. Dr. Tom Lindberg
What an excellent ground of hope and confidence we have when we reflect upon these three things in prayer--the Father's love, the son's merit and the Spirit's power! Thomas Manton
Our Christian hope is that we're going to live with Christ in a new earth, where is not only no more death, but where life is what it was always meant to be. Timothy Keller

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