Prayerful Pondering

This morning, my eyes held to this verse:   I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land.  (Ezekiel 36:14)

Though spoken by the Lord regarding his restoration of Israel, I saw more — something there for each one of us today.  Read the words slowly.  Break it into bites like this:

I will put my Spirit in you.

When God puts His Spirit in us, we are changed in ways that transform us.  Everything about us is altered when His Spirit comes in.  Anxiety is replaced with peace.  Confusion is replaced with direction.  Anger and hatred are replaced with calm and love.   We set aside judgment and choose patience and lending help to those in need. 

You will live.

When we are filled with the Spirit of God and have this life transformation, everything becomes different.  We move from a survival mode to truly living.  We grasp life joyfully and gratefully.  We feel excited about our part in His great design.  We seek out our purpose and live it enthusiastically.   We bear fruit.  We truly live!    

I will settle you in your own land.

When our lives are transformed by the Holy Spirit, and we live obedient to God with complete abandon, He will indeed settle us in a place of faith and blessing.  Our land will be a place where God reigns supreme.  It will be a place of growing daily in His wisdom and love; it will be a place of comfort and peace, of complete security.   It will be living under the wing of the Almighty.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21

This has been a year of hard events. My husband died in September after a very lengthy illness. My daughter has spent this past year battling cancer and is not well enough to travel home. Her cancer diagnosis came on top of other health problems she has battled for a decade. My 92-year-old mother has Alzheimer’s and the progression of it takes her away a little more each day. She no longer recognizes her grandchildren and sits in her assisted living apartment with a packed bag beside her, ready to go home. Whether that is to the house where she lived, or to heaven, I do not know.

I received this note yesterday from a friend: “I think you are an amazing woman. You carry around a glow that overrides the difficulty of all you’ve been through. You are either very good at masking your true feelings or you truly know how to live in the moments of joy and save the sorrows for a later time. I do see below the surface and know which one of the two is true.” I share this very personal message for one reason only: to give God glory. For He alone is the reason for my joy and peace. He is the reason that no matter what comes my way, I can forever be confident in His love. When I fall (and I do, quite often), He is there to pick me up and brush me off and give me an encouraging embrace. My Creator supplies my every need and I am blessed because of Him. 2 Timothy 1:12 says “I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day.” The older I get and the more I go through, the more this scripture proves true.

Tomorrow is Christmas Day and I will spend it in quiet reflection, giving thanks for what I have because of One who was born in a manger in Bethlehem so very long ago. I will give thanks for my salvation; for the Son of God who took away my vile sin that I might live with Him eternally and victoriously. I will be grateful for that One who loves me so much that He never gives up on me, yet walks with me daily on my journey home. It is He who loves me, understands me, forgives me, comforts me, heals me. It is Jesus who keeps me in the palm of His strong and mighty hand.

Tomorrow I will also think about the faith of Mary who met with gladness the news that she, though unmarried and barely a woman, would conceive of the Holy Spirit and bear God a Son. I love the J. B. Phillips translation of Luke 1:38 when the angel spoke to Mary: “I belong to the Lord, body and soul,” replied Mary, “let it happen as you say.” In verses 46 and 47, she says, “My heart is overflowing with praise of my Lord, my soul is full of joy in God my Savior.” I will sing that song with Mary, for my heart, too, overflows with praise of my Lord, and my soul is full of joy in God my Savior.

“Truly, His mercy rests on those who fear Him.” Luke 1:50

This was written almost 20 years ago after a young woman told me of her sexual abuse as a child and the shame she lived with until receiving the healing of Jesus. 

A child sits yonder,

alone and forlorn,

wondering where love could be.

A knock on the door

(is it possibly love?)

Open wide, then maybe you’ll see.

Dressed ever so well

in sweet talk and smiles,

the visitor enters in.

He grabs the sweet child

and holds her close,

her misery about to begin.

It isn’t love,

it is hate, don’t you see?

Mockery, selfishness, and lies.

It sweeps up the child

before she can see

through the wickedly careful disguise.

The child wanted love

but hate came instead

clothed in deception and lust.

The child took a beating

but battered – she fled!

From the one who betrayed her sweet trust.

In time she prayed

for discernment to know

the truth about those saying ‘Friend.”

In time she saw

with the eyes of the Lord

the pretender, the enemy, sin.

This time she stood

by the side of the Lord

and looked not around her at all.

But into His face

holding tight to His hand

she knew when to answer the call.

This time Love came

and sheltered her well

and showed her the truth all the way.

By seeking His will

trusting Him not herself,

joy, strength, and peace came to stay.

My mother is in residential assisted living due to dementia and a weakened body.  I have a church shut-in friend who recently moved to a like facility for the same reason.  I have noticed with both my mother and my friend one like feature:  they mention someone’s need and then state their strong desire to go and help that person even though they are unable to care for themselves.  They will tell what they could do, or should be doing, for the person.   It is a way of reflecting on days gone by, a way of speaking sadness over their loss of independence and service.  With both, there is denial that they are no longer able to cope on their own, or able to be of help to others.  It is heartbreaking, but at the same time, a cause for personal reflection.

I know that a day may come when independence will escape me, too.  I have quality of life now, but at what point will I outlive it?  Even at best, the years are short before me.  It is a strange thing to realize that most of my life has gone by.

I have many regrets; that is the result of human nature.  Since I cannot go back and correct past errors, I must concentrate on what I can do with today, how I can seek and recognize what God has designed for this present time – and do it.  It is no longer about “someday I will do such and such” but about “right now.”  Either I use well the time I have left or I forfeit it.  I pray it will be the first.

Father, Your word says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil, that you may have a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).  Thank You, Father, for Your love that gives each one of us a life design, a purpose to live out in Your name.  Create in me a totally submissive heart to live in the framework of that design.  Amen.

There is a place deep within the heart of you that only God knows.

It is a place that only He can reach, a place where you alone can reach Him.

It is a place where your Father receives you, quiets you, and rests you.

It is a place where His abundant love will flow over and through you.

In your meeting place, He will reveal things wonderful and rewarding.

He will tell you secrets of things to be,

things that will surpass anything you would know to ask for.

He will delight you with revelations and nourish your soul.

He will not fail you when tired and weak, but come with strength and renewal.

If you will wait, silent and still, you will hear His footsteps on your heart.

He will come and spread joy and peace; He will speak wisdom for the journey.

You are His child, and He is your Abba Father.

Wait.  Listen.  Receive.

Read Psalm 91.  It is God’s word of promise for each of us. 

Last night I went to bed troubled.  So much was on my mind.  For years I fought my own battle with illness; then, I was healed of what was supposed to be something you never get over – just learn to live with.  But healing came from the hand of the Lord; there is no question in my mind of that.  It came that I might be able to help family members falling ill around me; first my mother, then my husband, and now my child.

There were other things mentally rambling around as I waited for sleep.  Now that I’m in the winding down years of life, I thought of things I had dreamed of and didn’t get around
to doing.  Things I felt I should do even now and didn’t know if there was still yet time or energy.  And other things mightily hoped for.

I fought back the tears that wanted to steal my resolve to be strong.  I thought of the many things I had to be thankful about.  I especially gathered round me the caring of family and friends who had stood with me through battle after battle.  I thanked God for His steadfastness throughout my life.   Never has He failed me!

This morning, when there was just enough light to find my way around the patio, I went outside to breathe in the new day.  There was a light chill in the air that I found invigorating and I settled in to enjoy the peace of a morning still quiet and still.  Joy flooded my heart as I knew once again that all was well in my world because God is in it and He is in control.

Every day I have a decision to make.  I can decide to live in realization and gratitude of all that I do have, or I can decide to pine over what I do not.  I am resolved to do the first.  I will not let sadness, regret or anxiety take from me the joys that I do have.  I will make the most of every blessing.  I may even trim them with bows and throw on a string of lights!  I will celebrate this day, and all the days given me, and here and there stand on tiptoe as I await miracles still yet to be.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”  Psalm 30:5 (NKJV)

A friend told me about something that happened with him in a restaurant.  Alec and his friends were being seated, and as they walked by an elderly man, this man reached out to touch him.  The elderly man seemed unable to talk, but clearly wanted to make contact.  Alec spoke to him, but even more, he took the man’s extended hand and held it for a
moment.  He had no idea who the man was, but he honored his need for touch.  He
gave kindness without hesitation and with no expectation of receiving anything.

My friend didn’t think much about it as similar things with people happen to him often, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. My years of people-contact training told me exactly what had happened and it didn’t happen by chance.  The man did not reach out to any of the others in the group, only to Alec.  He “knew” Alec would respond to him.  Just as
animals have instinct about people, children and the elderly also have a keen sense
of those who will treat them kindly, a sense of who they can trust.

I believe it is the simple acts of kindness to strangers that define us.  To react to someone we know and like with compassion is one thing, to respond warmly to a stranger, quite
another.

Jesus said this: “I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison and you came to Me. . . . . Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.”
Matthew 25:35-36, 40 (NKJV)

Anytime we respond to a stranger’s need with an act of kindness, we honor God and make a statement about ourselves.

Jesus, help me to notice that person today who needs a smile, a word, or a touch.  May I not draw back, but reach out in Your love.  May I leave this world a better
place, with the little things you lead me to do.  Amen.

French author, Gustave Flaubert said “Human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, when all the time we are longing to move the stars to pity.”  In my hospital setting it looked like this:

A 16 year-old complained about everything to do with his nursing care.  He told me loud and clear that he didn’t like “this place” and that nobody cared about him.    What he finally said was, “I’m so afraid I’m going to die.  I don’t want to die, Pat; I’m scared.”

The mother of a young quadriplegic patient told me “No one cares how my son feels.  They won’t listen to him when he asks for help.  It’s just like a prison here.”   What she eventually said was “This boy is my husband’s whole life.  I’ve tried to be a good mother – it’s all I know how to do.   How could I have let this accident happen?”

Then there was a family member who said, “My sister should be in intensive care.  If anything goes wrong, I’m going to call the newspaper.”   Soon I learned, “I agreed to no attempts to resuscitate if her heart stops, but I’m having trouble with that.  I’ve taken care of her for years and I’m just not ready to give her up.”

None of these complaints were about me personally, so I could address them easily and effectively.  It was my job, and a work I loved doing.  But when unwarranted complaining is personal, it’s quite a different matter.

It may be that you are in a situation now where the deep wounds of another are surfacing and you find yourself in the line of fire.  The hope for the injured and angry person is professional counseling.   If you engage in a situation not of your making and out of your control to fix, it will probably encourage the complainer and cause you to doubt yourself.  I encourage you to give yourself some distance and care for the person through prayer.  Sometimes that is all you can do and the very best thing to do.  It is never right to assume guilt for something you didn’t do – and an extremely difficult lesson for some of us to learn.

May this be your prayer if you are under attack:

Father, bless the hurting with professionals who can help them.  Bless me with a clear and wise mind to discern my part in another’s pain.  If I can help, then show me how.  And if I cannot, give me peace and acceptance.  Teach me to be gentle with myself and not carry the weight of things You never asked me to carry.  Amen.

Indeed, He sends out His voice, a mighty voice.  — Psalm 68:10

Hearing the voice of God takes trust and practice.  It requires believing what you hear even
though it may not make sense in man’s way of thinking.

One of the most remarkable times of hearing and acting on God’s voice was following the brutal death of a young man’s mother.  Though I had admired Barry’s mother, I did not
know her well.   Yet immediately following her death, I began hearing God’s voice about how I was to interact with her son. It was a strong and unrelenting voice.  I spent hours on
my knees for Barry and received daily instruction on exactly what I was to do.

There were days when I questioned if I was truly hearing God’s voice or simply reacting to heartache over the situation.  I counseled with a friend and she thought I was reacting emotionally and should remove myself from his life.  But I could not.  God kept drawing me back – always, always providing clear instruction.   It was never a matter of my thinking ‘what can I do for Barry today?” but “Pat, here is what I, the Lord God, am asking you to do for him.”

I often questioned, why me? Why not a family member or close family friend?  The best answer that presented itself was learning from Barry that my personality and beliefs were very much like his mom’s.  I was as amazed as he when I would do something that was exactly as his mother had done for him, and there were many such incidences.    I believe that is why he trusted me and never doubted my intentions.  These things seemed to bring him moments of joy – a sense that his mother was reaching out to him through me.

The relationship went on for over a year and it ended as suddenly as it began.  There was peace about all I had done and that it was now time to cease my walk on the journey with Barry.  Other than continue praying for him, of course.  What being used in his life meant in its fullness, I will only know in heaven.  I believe Barry’s mother will be one of the first people I see and we will talk it over in detail.

This was a great lesson for me in trusting God’s voice.  Each time I doubted, God interceded so unmistakably that all doubt was removed.  It taught me that once I was certain of His voice, I was to act without reservation or hesitation.   I was not to reason it out, just act.  And above all, TRUST.

 And when He brings out His own
sheep, He goes before them: and the sheep follow Him, for they know His
voice.  — John 10:13

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him.  And He shall direct your paths.   — Proverbs 3:5

(All scriptures, NKJV)

We all need a daily place of solitude, a place to be in communion with God and with ourselves.  For me, the time is early morning.  I love to watch the day arrive and experience the quiet and still of dawn, hear the first chatter of birds, the occasional sound of a cricket holding on to night.

There is majesty in a sunrise.  It tells of God and His abiding love and rule over all He created.  It speaks another chance for us to get it right.

To commune with nature at the first of day is nourishment for my soul.  It centers me and calms me.  It brings clearer thinking.  It wraps me in peace and reassurance that trials will not be forever, and surprises of great joy may be just ahead.  And without question, it is always strength for my day.

Creator, I see Your love in each morning sky, and thank You for the magnificence that it paints on my soul.  I praise You for giving us ways to rest in solitude with you – and cost us nothing but our time. You, indeed, are the Lover of our souls.