Tag Archives: patient perspective

God’s Plans, Not Mine

02 Monday Feb 2026

Posted by in Trusting God's plans

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Many plans are in a man’s heart,
but the purpose of the Lord will prevail.
Proverbs 19:21

Carl Sandburg said nearly all the best things that came to him in life were unexpected and unplanned. I identify! It’s the same for me when I do a life review. Here are my top three.

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Peter came flying out the door of our little church house to greet me. As I opened the car door, his arms flew wide to hug me, and he said, Aw, Ms. Pat, I love you. His smile spread from ear to ear, and all the tiredness I had felt when I left home washed away.

Peter was a happy 15-year-old who lived in a group home for individuals with mental disabilities. He had Down syndrome. The group home bus brought Peter and his housemates to church and to our Exceptional Department every Sunday. Two other group homes also brought residents. We had 34 students.

Their challenges ranged from moderte to severe. A few were unable to talk, or at least be understood. They loved being together, and they loved the Lord. They received the weekly church newsletter and would sometimes bring it with them. Dianne would point out the pastor’s picture and say, “I love Dr. Taylor.” She didn’t know him, but she loved him because she received mail from him every week. That said to her, he cared.

After a while and after getting to know each one’s personality, I began taking them to regular worship services. I added slowly to see how it would go. Oh, how they loved that! There was never a problem. They were quiet, didn’t talk to one another, and stood with everyone else when we sang. All were reverent. Eight made professions of faith and were baptized. One cried with joy when she was baptized. Our pastor wept.

My years with them were some of the sweetest of all my unplanned life experiences. It started when a call went out that, without additional help, our church would have to give up this ministry. We were the only church in the city that had a place just for them. Unqualified and not knowing what to expect, I said yes anyway; I would help.

I loved them from Day 1. In a short time, the man who had been so ably managing this outreach for years relocated, and I was asked to take his place. Without hesitation, I agreed. They had become an extremely important part of my life. And I knew it was all God.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord . . .
Jeremiah 29:11

In 1983, I had an unexpected, life-changing event. I divorced, moved to another city, and began working at a large hospital as an administrative assistant to the vice president of Human Resources. I enjoyed my work and the people I worked with.

I had been there for 8 months when the employment director approached me and said they had been flooded with applications for the new patient representative position. Why haven’t you applied? He asked. I told him I didn’t even know what it was. So he explained it generally and concluded with a statement of full confidence that I was the right fit for the position. I had worked 12 years for a physician. The medical field was familiar and comfortable territory.

I applied and was hired. I was elated! This would put me back in the arena I knew and loved best: working with patients and their caregivers.

The patient advocacy program was a new venture at our hospital. My boss wanted ours to be modeled after best practices across the nation. He sent me to other large hospitals that had successful programs. It was easy to identify the one we should model ours after, and what started as a program quickly turned into an administrative department.

Over time, customer service training was added, and then Medical Ethics. For several years, I wrote stories of patient care from the patient’s perspective for a MidSouth Healthcare journal. I became president of the National Association for Patient Representation and Customer Service and a nationwide speaker on patient advocacy. Again, all unplanned. But the print of God’s hand and His will were evident.

Proverbs 3:5 says we are not to rely on our own insight or understanding. The One who made us and gifted us knows what we can do, even when we do not.

The third thing I regard as a God-planned experience was tutoring second-grade students in reading.We have a church school and I had gotten to know the school’s elementary counselor in a prayer group. She wanted to give second graders more opportunity to read to an adult. She explained that most of the students’ parents worked full-time and if she could find volunteers to come in and read with the children, she believed it would be extremely beneficial. She asked if I would help.

I never felt working with children was a good fit for me. I intended to do it for a year to help get it started. But that year turned into 9 years. For once again, God had an unexpected plan for my life.

It quickly went past reading to include mentoring. Contrary to my belief that I was not a good fit with children, the opposite was true. I became a friend and confidante to many of them. Their personal stories sometimes made me laugh and sometimes made me sad.

Being invited into the world of a child, aged 7 to 9, was a gift. I treasure that gift to this day. Some of the students have even chosen to stay in touch.

With each of these life adventures, I felt unqualified. But God doesn’t call us to do anything without giving us the skills to do it. I trusted that. I found He also gives passion. That is the God part of any skill set: the defining difference between work and joyful privilege. The icing on the cake, so to speak.

For we know all things work together for good,
for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Looking Back at a Memorable Patient

15 Monday Jul 2019

Posted by in healthcare stories

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There’s so much bad news today, I thought a little sharing of personal heroes might be in order. During the years I worked for Methodist Healthcare (1983-1998), my primary responsibilities were to patient concerns, patient rights, and medical ethics. I got to know some terrific individuals and wrote about many of them. I believed the sharing of patient perspectives helped us react more like a small community rather than a large hospital. Everyone does better when they understand another’s perspective. The stories were first shared internally and then with the medical community at large through my column, “Patient Perspective,” in the Memphis Healthcare News. I’ve pulled a few stories, in no particular order, to share with you. This one is very dated, but our need to understand and respect one another never changes. This couple taught us a lot about that. It was written in December of 1988. 

There are those particular patients whose stories we file away in our memory book. Then, from time to time, we draw on the lessons they taught through their demonstration of great courage, kindness, or even wit. There is one patient I remember who met all those qualifications.

I first became involved with him due to his extreme fear of contracting AIDS. He and his wife came to our hospital armed with their own can of disinfectant, and his wife cleaned the bathroom and telephone again – just to be sure.

The patient and his wife, both in their late 60’s, enjoyed one of those marriages that was a sheer delight to observe. As we got to know each other, his wife told me they had both had previous marriages that came apart in the early 1940’s. She said her first husband left to get a haircut one day and just never came back. So, for six years, the second husband made her go with him every time he got a haircut! Then she laughed that happy, throaty laugh of hers, and you could imagine the whole scene taking place.

There were a number of hospitalizations and other visits to our hospital. One day, the patient had been in to get blood and I met him and his wife as they were leaving the hospital. They stopped to speak and give me a quick hug, but then said they had to hurry along. “I’ve just been given the blood of an 18 year old, and I want to get my wife right home” said the patient.

During the time of one hospitalization, the patient decided he would leave a little test for the housekeepers: he put one tiny piece of paper in each of the four corners of his bathroom. The housekeeper passed the test, but one of the patient’s daughters said the housekeeper should have left them where they were with one word written on each paper scrap: (1) I’ve (2) cleaned (3) this (4) bathroom.

The most memorable happening of all, though, came in his first hospitalization. This beautiful human being, full of love and wit, called in all of his grandchildren to talk to them. (As I recall, their ages ranged from about 12 to mid-20’s.) He told them he wanted to be serious just for a minute and then he explained his condition and that he knew his long years of smoking were to blame. He said “Granddaddy should be up playing with you now, and not lying in this bed. If I had taken care of my body, that’s what I would be doing. So I want you to promise me, while each one of you still has a healthy body, to respect it and take care of it. Don’t ever be foolish enough to put yourself where I am now.” With that, he dismissed the time for serious conversation, and became, once again, the life of the party.

Yes, there were times when the patient and his wife might have been seen as ‘difficult’ for staff as they struggled to hold on to the months of life he had left. But surely, there’s not a one of us that felt we could ever put a mark against such a courageous couple.

This was a man and woman who helped us laugh when their hearts were breaking; who held close to each other and taught us lessons about love and left us with memories that bless our days of reflection. The patient was one of those individuals who lives on in each and every person he ever touched, and if there were a hall of fame for patients, we would place his picture there.