Tag Archives: trust

Mama’s Bible

23 Saturday Apr 2016

Posted by in faith

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. . . take root downward and bear fruit upward. (Isaiah 37:31 ESV)

My grandmother’s Bible was a treasure beyond any price. I had hoped as her oldest grandchild that I might inherit it, however I never discussed that with my grandmother or my mother and so in the end it didn’t come to be.

What made Mama’s Bible so revered? She poured and prayed over its words daily. Her gentle, but sure hands caressed the pages. She wept and rejoiced, she trusted and she practiced. She did what Isaiah said: took root downward and bore fruit upward.

I’ve never known anyone that Jesus was as real to as He was to Dulcie Spencer. She sang songs to Him throughout the day and talked to Him as if He were right at her elbow. I’ve walked into her home and overheard her talking and thought she had company, only to find out it was no visitor but her best friend and permanent resident: Jesus. Mama relied on Him completely for every matter and that reliance gave her a radiance that cannot be duplicated by anything of this world. Mama had a heavenly glow. THE_SPENCER_FAMILY_001 - Copy

My grandmother had no earthly riches. She lived a simple life, but a life marked with beauty because of how she lived it. Mama’s standard was to do exactly as God’s Word said for her to do: she loved God with all her heart, soul, strength and mind; she loved her neighbors as herself; and she believed God’s word that when we trust Him completely, He will never forsake us. Mama’s family saw and respected that trust. I believe we were all, in fact, hugely affected by her rock-solid trust in God. My earliest memory of Mama is of her kneeling by her bed for prayer at end-of-day, long dark braids falling down her back and over her homemade gown. Mama always prayed aloud and just as I have visual remembrances of Mama, I have auditory ones, too.

wedding pic - CopyWhen I married in 1989, Mama wasn’t physically able to be with us so she sent her Bible to me for the ceremony. I can’t think of better representation of this woman that I loved more than ever I could express.

Though I didn’t get to keep the book she loved above all others, she did give me her faith and for that I am eternally grateful. Mine isn’t as beautiful as hers, but it is as confident. And what she passed on to me, I passed on to my daughter Kristi. I know because I have witnessed it.

I truly cannot imagine my life without this great woman’s influence. I have often said if I could choose to be like anyone in the world, it would be my grandmother. I wish I could say I had lived a life like hers, but I can’t. My journey has been one of much stumbling, failing, and starting over, however no one’s persuasion of faith has had a greater hold on me than that of Dulcie Spencer. I thank her for showing me a Jesus she never doubted and pointing the way to heaven’s door. You are my crown jewel, Mama.Copy of spencer family about 1951

Here are a few lines from a letter Mama wrote to her children not long before she died in 1991 at 91 years of age: The dear Lord has been so good to our family. I can’t thank him enough and that he lives in me all the time.  I’ve prayed to him all my life and He answers my prayers day and night. Please don’t grieve after me when I’m gone for I’ll be safe with our dear Lord and all my loved ones in heaven. 

 

Remembering Papa’s Faith

11 Monday Apr 2016

Posted by in death and dying

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Sometimes I think about the day my grandfather was told he had a terminal illness. Daddy had called to let me know Papa was being admitted directly from his doctor’s office to the hospital. I told Daddy I would meet them there.

When I got to Papa’s room, he was sitting on the side of the bed, still wearing his hat. He looked so tired and I encouraged him to lie down. He did without a word of protest, but with his shoes still on. I slipped them off his feet. My grandmother stood quietly by, grave concern etched on her face. Mama and Papa had been married 65 years—since they were 16 and 18.

We didn’t have to wait long for Papa’s physician. He came into the room, sat down in a chair near Papa’s bed and gave us a diagnosis we didn’t want to hear: acute leukemia. Papa’s physician said that without treatment he would live maybe two months. With treatment, he might live two years, but there would be no quality of life and he personally could not advise that route. If Papa wanted treatment, he would refer him to a specialist.

Without hesitation or questions, Papa said “I’ve lived a good long life and if it’s my time to go, I’m all right with that, I’m ready.” It was a clear statement of his faith; he had no fear in dying.

A picture made Papa was so sick. One of the few times he was out of bed.

A picture made when Papa was so sick. One of the rare times he was out of bed. Mama stands between their two oldest children, J. B. and Louise.

Papa left that hospital bed for one at home where his children and their spouses took care of him, never leaving Mama to do it alone. He lived shy of a year—nine months I believe it was, but longer than the two months predicted. His doctor said it was his strong body that gave him added time. Papa had been so healthy all his life; he had never seen a doctor for anything but the annual renewal of his barber’s license.

To remember Papa is to remember how tender his heart was toward God. I never heard him pray without crying. He just couldn’t get to the “amen” without emotion spilling over. Both my grandparents deeply loved the Lord. Jesus was as much a resident of their home as Papa and Mama. They trusted God implicitly and gave God all the thanks.

When Papa died, Mama wrote in her journal “Jim went home to be with Jesus today.”  Simply and accurately put. They never doubted where they would spend eternity. And to their credit and as best I know, none of us, children or grandchildren, has doubted either. Jim and Dulcie Spencer made sure of that.

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Jim and Dulcie Spencer, my cherished grandparents.

So, when I remember Papa, I remember first his love for the Lord and a faith that let him say, when it’s my time, I’m ready. I give thanks for this man’s life and the rich heritage he gave to me.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.  –Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)

                                                                   

 

Trusting God’s Answer & His Plan

11 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by in career decisions, Hearing God's Voice

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“I don’t know when we will be able to get you help or even if this job will survive the hiring freeze,” said my boss. “There are two other positions I can offer if you don’t want to take the risk.”

It was 1984 and I was in a newly created position, that of patient representative, and I loved my work. The job of helping patients and families with concerns and unmet needs had proved highly successful with hospital staff and physicians. There were two of us hired to establish a patient representative program based on best national models and the other person had resigned right before the hiring freeze. I had no idea how I would manage this alone—or even if should try. I was a single woman dependent on a regular paycheck.

My heart had always been for the one who felt overlooked or not respected and I enjoyed breaking down problems and finding answers. Having once worked as an office nurse, the involvement with caregivers came naturally. My mother called it my mission field and that was how I saw it, too. But I couldn’t ignore the risks involved.

My boss said to take the weekend and think about what I wanted to do. I knew the first thing was to make it a matter of fervent prayer. As I prayed and searched scriptures, my Bible seemed to fall open to Jeremiah 42:10-12: “If you will indeed stay in this land, then I will build you up and not tear you down, and I will plant you and not uproot you; for I will relent concerning the calamity that I have inflicted on you. Do not be afraid of the king of Babylon, whom you are now fearing; do not be afraid of him,” declares the Lord, “for I am with you to save you and deliver you from his hand. I will also show you compassion, so that he will have compassion on you and restore you to your own soil.”

I felt the strong presence of God and that He was speaking to me about my job dilemma. I interpreted it this way: Stay where you are. You will survive and the program will grow and be strengthened beyond what it is now. Don’t be afraid of the hospital administrator’s ability to snuff out the job entirely. You are where you are meant to be; don’t see this through human understanding (risk of no job or temptation of better pay).  Trust me.

And so I did. I stayed, I trusted God, and I had total peace about my decision. The position wasn’t cut, the program became a department with adequate staff to cover seven days a week. We took on new responsibilities through the years and I retired in 1998 as corporate director of Patient Affairs.

Are you looking for answers in your own life? There is One standing ready to help you find those answers. Dedicate yourself to daily reading of His word. Make yourself available to hear the Holy Spirit’s gentle but sure direction. Give God priority in your life and He will not fail you. He is the giver of peace and joy for those who love Him.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NAS)

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Chaplain Bob Howerton, Sr VP Methodist Health Systems, and me, about 1985. He believed in my potential and hired me to be a patient representative. I will be forever grateful.

Mary & Elizabeth’s Added Blessing

19 Saturday Dec 2015

Posted by in Christmas story

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“. . . [Mary] you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age” (Luke 1:30-31, 36 NIV).

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In reading Luke 1, I always stay a while at the part of the story where Mary and Elizabeth spend time together. These were two women of impossibility, touched by God to play pivotal roles in the salvation story. I doubt even the most creative of minds could do justice to what each gained in the three months they spent together.

The Jewish people had long awaited their Messiah; probably no one ever considered He would come by virgin birth to an unknown. Then there was the case of a woman long past child-bearing years, but by God’s divine appointment also pregnant. Most likely each one was enduring ridicule: Mary with her suspicious pregnancy and Elizabeth carrying a child in a worn out body.

I believe God always gives us added blessing when we go through troublesome times and He didn’t miss the benefit Mary and Elizabeth would derive from human comfort and support. He gave them companionship for three months. He gave them added blessing.

Somehow, I suspect the journey to Judea of four to five days probably didn’t seem that long to Mary; her mind must have been so flooded with all Gabriel had told her that she hardly noticed the steps.  Upon reaching Elizabeth’s home, she heard Elizabeth say “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her would be accomplished” (Luke 1:45 NIV). That may well have given Mary the first relief she experienced after knowing her destiny. She was believed! She was affirmed without saying a word!  It was God’s added blessing.

Elizabeth was six months pregnant when Mary arrived so Mary was with her right up to time for John’s birth. Why would she stay so long? I believe to help this elderly woman through the hardest days of her pregnancy. I don’t think it assuming too much to consider that Elizabeth might have been confined to bed. Mary would likely have taken over cooking and cleaning and other household duties. And, with Zechariah unable to speak, Mary would have provided Elizabeth with conversation during her time of waiting.

In return, the young Mary would have gained great wisdom from Elizabeth. She would have passed on life advice and spiritual advice. Imagine the wealth of knowledge the wife of a priest would have! Mary would have gone back to Nazareth a stronger woman, better prepared to endure the unkind comments and stares of a suspect pregnancy, and one schooled in how to be a spiritual guide for the Lord in His youth.

For me, the three months shared by Mary and Elizabeth is a chief and often overlooked story of God’s amazing grace; how He never gives us anything to do that He doesn’t also give us the help in doing it–that thing called added blessing.

The Loaves & the Fish, the Storm-tossed Sea

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by in God's faithfulness

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Scriptures in Matthew 14:13-21 and Mark 6:30-44 tell the story of how Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. Only men were counted in that day, so we know significantly more than 5,000 people were fed. We can be sure that Jesus didn’t leave the women and children hungry. And after each person was filled, there was enough bread and fish left to fill twelve baskets.

Let’s think in the fullest sense of this miracle and not hurry over a story we have known since childhood. The truths of God need to settle into our minds and hearts and form a solid foundation of faith for the trials that come to all of us. There is less sting in our trials when we can immediately reflect on who God is and what He can do.

Scripture tells us after feeding of the thousands, Jesus immediately sent the disciples on ahead by boat while He went alone to a mountainside be in prayer. We know He was there for hours because scripture talks of “when evening came” (John 14:23 and Mark 6:47). Then we see another reference to time when it says Jesus went to the disciples “during the fourth watch of the night” (John 14:24 and Mark 6:48). The fourth watch of the night was between 3 and 6 a.m.

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The disciples were far out on the sea when it became storm-tossed. The Greek word used for measuring distance was stadia–an eighth of a mile or 660 feet. Some Bible translations say “many stadia” or “over a mile.”  My intention here is to have us see how physically far away Jesus was from the disciples when they found themselves in trouble  and how they probably thought Jesus was unaware of their plight. Surely, they must have felt alone and without hope—just as we sometimes feel today. Yet . . . Jesus knew! There is never a distance so great that we are separated from the Lord when we are His children.

These stories reveal to us quite a few things:

  • God has great compassion for every child of His.
  • There is nothing He cannot do.
  • We need quantities of time alone with God: to ponder what He has done for us, to give Him more than a nod of thank you, and to be strengthened for future trials.
  • Time alone with God should be a priority, as it was with Jesus.
  • We should not rush our alone time with God, but rather, linger as long as we can.
  • God is never skimpy with His love. When His answers come, we can count on added blessing.
  • No one is overlooked with God. He has no partiality with stations in life as man does.
  • We are not to waste what God has given. Our leftover fish and bread may be in sharing the struggles of our life and how God saw us through. Never fail to share how God provides.
  • We are never alone; He always knows where we are and will come to us at just the right time.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.  — Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)

The Weight of Our Prayers

05 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by in prayer

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When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.           —Isaiah 43:2 (ESV)

Yesterday, I leafed though a Bible I had not used in a while. I have a habit of writing prayers on small pieces of paper and tucking them in between the pages of whatever Bible I’m using and this Bible had quite a few of those prayer notes.

When I write out my requests, I add a scripture for praying about the concern, then date it. I noticed as I sorted through my prayer notes, some had dates with a few words indicating progress. Still others the date when my prayer was answered, along with expressions of joy and gratitude.

file00074226366What caught my interest was when I realized how the weight attached to those prayers had changed over time. Some of the prayers have yet to be answered and when initially written, the weight seemed overwhelming. Yet today, though the needs are still there and important to me, the heaviness has lessened. Somewhere along the way, frantic fear was replaced with peaceful acceptance of whatever was the end result. Along the journey of praying and trusting, God brought me to places of sweet release.

Many of those prayer notes had been written when much in my life seemed out of order and definitely out of my control. I was afraid for many things, and as a result, fear framed my prayers. I clearly remembered the level of my anxiety with many of them and how hard it was to keep pushing through.

“Pushing through” faith is what keeps us hopeful. It can also keep us safe from making bad decisions. Our years of walking with the Lord make us stronger and serves as reference points when we need them. We lean into the memories of other hard times we’ve had and how God’s grace got us through.

In reflecting on those prayer notes written several years ago, I know that no matter how grim something may seem at the time, help will come. The prayer may be answered just as I pray and even better than I pray. Or, I may still be praying for an answer years later. But this I know for sure: if I don’t get the answer I hope for, God will give me the strength and courage to manage what is. I know this because He has proven it to me over and over. file000551198693

There is only one secure foundation: a genuine, deep relationship with Jesus Christ, which will carry you through any and all turmoil. No matter what storms are raging all around, you’ll stand firm if you stand on His love.                                              –Dr. Charles Stanley, “In Touch Ministries”            

(Pictures courtesy of morgueFile, under “prayer”)

The Steadfast Love of God

07 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by in Bible study, comfort, God's faithfulness, God's love for us, hope, how God sees us, insight, love, Love for God, never alone, observation, study scripture, trust, understanding

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In the English Standard Version of the Bible, “steadfast love” is mentioned 196 times in the Old Testament, 127 times in the Psalms alone. One of my favorite verses using steadfast love is Psalms 6:4: “Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.”

These words of the psalmist David can be turned into a prayer of petition for healing by personalizing it with the individual’s name. It is also an appropriate prayer for our nation: “Turn, O Lord, deliver (our nation); save (us) for the sake of your steadfast love.”

“Steadfast love” is a translation from the Hebrew word chesed, found approximately 250 times in the Hebrew Bible according to many research sites, Ken Emilio of RemnantReport.com being one. Norman H. Snaith in A Theological Word Book of the Bible says that in English versions of the Bible, chesed has also been translated as loving-kindness, mercy, and loyalty. I think it is very safe to say God wants us to know we can rely on His love. That His is a faithful and committed love. Why else would He tell us so many times?

Just as His love for us is steadfast, He asks that our love be the same. In the New Testament, scripture turns it around from how God loves us and uses chesed as how we are to love God and others. Christ came to demonstrate the Father’s steadfast love by showing us how to take what we have been given and give it to others. Chesed is found six times in the New Testament: 1 Thessalonians 1:3, 2 Thessalonians 3:5, 1 Timothy 6:11, 2 Timothy 3:10, Titus 2:2, and James 1:12. One of those references, 2 Thessalonians 3:5, says it like this: “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.”

Beautiful songs of praise continue to be written about God’s steadfast love. Don Moen sings praise to God with his song “Your Steadfast Love” at https://youtu.be/ibky__ABoLs  and Hillsong sings “The Steadfast Love of the Lord Never Ceases” at https://youtu.be/0W3mspwIKgk .

As we sing our own praises to God, may we thank Him for a love that is steadfast and faithful. Man’s love may fail us, but God’s love never will. He has told us that emphatically.

Photo Courtesy of Morgue File

Photo Courtesy of Morgue File

Handling Nighttime Fear

14 Thursday May 2015

Posted by in nighttime fear

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Nighttime fear is a common plague with many. Everything seems worse in the dark. Darkness gives the sense that we are more alone than when the light of day gathers ‘round us. When others are sleeping and there is no one to talk to or distract us, our imagination can run wild. Personally, there is only one practice that delivers me from nighttime fear and that is prayer on my knees. I can lie in bed and pray, but it won’t be the same. There is a different solace altogether when I bow before God. When I am willing to leave the comfort of a warm bed, I am saying to Him I am serious about my need for His help. It is an act of humility, a demonstration that I know we are not equal and I am to be in submission to Him. And here is the good news: I cannot remember a single time when praying on my knees failed to bring peace. Mama and me 001I had a grandmother who taught me to pray on my knees. She never told me I should—just showed me. Praying on her knees beside her bed at night and praying on her knees for me when I was sick are deeply etched memories. She had no confusion about who God was or how to relate to Him. Jesus was her best friend. She talked to Him aloud throughout the day and as far as I could tell, never once doubted that He would take her through anything. Her faith was rock solid and uncomplicated. When her husband, my grandfather, died, she made this simple notation in a book: Jim went to be with Jesus today.  As I write this, I know there are some who can’t get on their knees for one very real reason or another. Not an act of defiance or laziness, but due to physical disability. Toward the end, my grandmother couldn’t do it either. But for all those years it was possible, she made it her practice. If you awake because worries are gnawing away at you, why not give praying on your knees a try? And if you are physically unable to bow before the King of Kings, spend a little time bringing yourself into a mental bowing before you begin to pray. I believe you will see the difference.

Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for  he is our God and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under his care. —Psalm 95:6-7 (NIV)

[Jesus] withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed. –Luke 22:41 (NIV)

Prayer and Samantha’s Surgery

02 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by in God's answers to prayer

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samantha and chloeSamantha, my 13 year old Siamese, had surgery 10 days ago to remove a cyst over her left eye. Samantha has always been an easily frightened cat and taking her to the vet is never easy for either one of us. But the cyst had been growing slowly over the past several months and it was time to have it removed before it got any closer to her eye.

I had dreaded this from the time we set the surgery date. I dreaded it because I knew it would traumatize Samantha and there was no way I could explain it to her. She is a house cat and used to being spoiled, not having unpleasant things happen to her. I had to take up her food and water the night before surgery and that meant no breakfast. She would be placed in a carrier (which spells “vet visit”), left alone in a place that frightened her, and wake up unable to stand steadily on her feet, and probably hurting. This morning’s return visit to have stitches removed meant more of the same. Samantha should not have pain this time, but it will require being sedated again because she is so out of control with fear that they would never be able to remove the stitches otherwise.

I am a sucker for animals and can’t bear to see them experience pain. I do everything I can to keep my own cats from being frightened or harmed and it hurt to have to put Samantha through the surgery and all that went with it even when it is for her well being.

On the way home from the vet’s office, I began to think of a personal parallel. There are times I don’t understand why things happen the way they do in my own life. This is especially so when I have fervently prayed about something and the answer isn’t what I had hoped. I’m sure if cats knew how to pray, Samantha would have asked to not have the surgery. She would have prayed according to her immediate needs: no fright, no pain, and no confusion. But to have delayed the unpleasantness of surgery would have caused her greater suffering in the long run. I can see that; she cannot. When God answer my prayers differently than I pray, it is the same thing; He sees what I cannot. He knows what will be best for me in the long run, and for that I am most grateful.  Grateful that He cares enough to sometimes withhold immediate blessings for ones of greater and more lasting value.

Scriptures that comfort when waiting for answers:

“My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD” (Isaiah 55:8)

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.  (Romans 8:28)

Hitting Bottom

07 Saturday Feb 2015

Posted by in Prodigal

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When I worked in a hospital, we sometimes had meetings over lunch for educational purposes. I have often thought of one speaker in particular, a counselor from our Behavioral Health facility, an off-campus care center for treating drug and alcohol addictions. The counselor, who had once been addicted to drugs, explained what it was like to be bound by obsessive cravings that served only to destroy one’s life. She said the addicted person had to hit bottom before he or she would turn their life around.

The story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 is a story about hitting bottom. Perhaps the rebellious son was addicted to greed and pleasure. At his pleading, his father gave him his share of inheritance that rightfully would not have been his until after his father’s death. Immediately, the son went away and quickly squandered a fortune. He all too soon found himself with nothing, not even necessary food for living. He had hit bottom!

The parable of the Prodigal Son is a picture of our Father God and how he responds to His children—us—no matter what self-orchestrated bottom we hit. He never stops loving us and He is always on watch for His confused, wayward child to return to Him.

Addiction of any kind is a demanding and jealous master; I don’t know that any addiction can be broken outside the power of God’s love.  It is His love that gives strength when we have none.  It is His love that puts the right people in our path to help us find our way out of an all-consuming habit. It is His love that never gives up on us—and that steadfastness gives us hope that we can be restored and the courage to begin.

When the Prodigal Son set off from home, he was dizzy with high expectations for a life of sheer pleasure. However, it didn’t turn out that way. His frivolity became his downfall and he was soon unable to take care of even his basic needs. When he returned to his father in abject poverty, his greatest hope was to be treated as a servant so that he might have food to live. But the Father met with delight and compassion this wayward son (Luke 15:20), certainly not what the Son who had hit bottom expected.

The account of the Prodigal Son is the story of anyone who willfully chooses to worship anything but God. Finding oneself in a pit of shame and guilt, we may ask “Will God take me back?” And the answer is a resounding yes! When we take the first step toward God, the step of repentance, our Father comes quickly to meet us. Not to condemn, but to welcome us home. He will reward our decision to trust Him with compassion and healing.

Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.  

Psalm 6:4 (ESV)